My Beautiful is all about being a mom

My day started at 6:00... it always does... Thank you children for introducing me to no sleep and bags under my eyes:)

 This particular day my wake up call began like this... Trevor on shift. .. Midnight, Rider tossing turning can't get to sleep until 2:00. Baby boy waking up every hour.  5:30 I Finally I bring him into bed with me. 6:00 a.m.  Maddix coming in crying "mommy I peed through my night dipe (diaper:)" I peel my sleeping baby off my chest. Nestle him in bed hoping he stays asleep for just a minute. I strip Madd of his wet Jammie's then wrap him in his blankey and snuggle him in front of Curious George. 6:15 Vivian wakes up crying... same deal:) Strip and snuggle on the couch! I then head to my room to get Rider. Step into a wonderful puddle of pee (still no confessions on who peed on the floor:) You get the idea:) Did I mention later that day Rider put toys into a peed in toilet and covered himself in it!

This particular day. Well, most particular days make me realize how unglamorous being a mom really is. I always have stained clothes from a babies messy face, crazy hair from no sleep the previous night,  and makeup rarely gets a chance to make an appearance.

And I realized... This is my Beautiful. My glamorous. And I love it. I wouldn't change it for anything. Those tiny people make me feel more beautiful than any shade of ruse ever could. My Vivian always says "You my Beauty mama". One day we were snuggled in bed trying to take an afternoon nap. She rolls over brushes my cheek and says "mama you so handsome":) Thank you baby girl for being you! Thank you for seeing beauty through this mess:) She always reaches her arms wide open and says "you  my best mama... I love you more than this whole weorld (world)" My Madd who always says "I never want to grow up and leave you"  My tender hearted boy who teaches me so so much about love and being kind. Rider who is such a mama's boy, always wanting me to hold and snuggle him. How blessed I am to have each of them. To have that beauty with me every single day.

I often wonder why I can't be that mom that just has it all pulled together... Why can't I be organized and on top of my to do list. I see so many people who can. Why is my laundry pile always so dang big. Why can't my house be perfectly put together, Why, why, why. Then I quickly recover those harsh thoughts. I don't need to compare me "us" to anyone else.  It's among the mess and the piles of tiny people laundry that I count my blessings. My beautiful is our dance parties in the living room. Making a giant fort that stays up for weeks, snuggling on the couch with a great book, being there when they wake up from their naps. I love Vivian's messy mop. Her first words when she wakes up are always "mommy I love you SOOOO much" even if she is half asleep she never hesitates to tell me how loved I am. Maddix, that boy crawls in my lap like a puppy. He just wants me to hold him. To snuggle him and show him my love. Riders chubby little hands reaching for me out of his crib "mama, mama, mama" I love how a one year old says mama! If only I could forever bottle up those bitsy words.

My beautiful is those quite moments that Maddix and I have while the babies are napping. Snuggling on the couch watching a movie, playing "guys", drawing. My big boy LOVES to draw. We sit at the kitchen table and his imagination comes alive on a piece of paper. My beautiful is our messy kitchen at night. Me trying to cook dinner with a baby on one hip, lulu wanting me change her babies clothes at least 10 times during a 30 period:) and maddix with his toys lined up around his plate waiting to eat dinner. The mess of the day. Toys strewn over every inch of the house. Evidence that my Little's live here. My tiny people. My beautiful.

 My beautiful might not fit the mold for most. But for me. It's right where I want to be. A bathtub filled with toys, stairs that I can't even walk down because it's suddenly funny to unload a pile of toys down them. My life. My beautiful wouldn't be compete without our perfectly imperfect us!

My children have introduced me to a new beautiful. It's not what's on the outside. It's not even a physical beauty. It's not looking perfectly put together. It's the small moments. The kindness you show to someone else. The love for each other. The memories we share. The times we spend laughing, playing hide and seek, dancing...

These beautiful faces remind me everyday what my Beautiful is all about. I hope to always remember what real beauty is all about. And most importantly, I hope to teach them what real beauty is.

You my Little's... You are my Beautiful!!!

In the eyes of a child

A few nights ago we were all relaxing on our front lawn enjoying a yummy shaved ice. Trev and I were talking about things we want to do with the kids. Adventures we want to take. Mentally making a list of things to do places to go. Trev said something about someday. Someday when we have enough money... Vivian reached around his neck, gave him a big hug and said "but dad you have money's already. You have money's in the car" (You know... the change strewn in little cubbies) Yes sweet girl we do have "moneys". Those shiny pennies, nickles and dimes sure do look like a lot to a child. To a child even something small seems so big. Those few pennies to us "adults" seem so insignificant. But to that tiny person, those pennies could buy a whole lot of something great.

So I decided. I'm not going to mention not having enough "moneys" to my kids. I'm going to take them to get that ice cream, to go to that museum... even if I have to scrape the last penny I have. I don't want them to know we don't quite have enough pennies. I just want them to enjoy the memory. Life soon enough will show them the stress of "moneys". So for now. I want them to enjoy the innocence of thinking that simple penny can buy something great:)

Something great was a new puppy. When I was counting the cash to buy him, Maddi reached in his cup holder (his money bank:) and gave me a penny... "here mom now you can buy him" he said. That shiny penny is just what I needed! Thanks Maddi for showing me hope... that even the tiniest amount can get us a lot. Even if that lot of something is a great memory.

And speaking of memories. 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays. The heat, bbq's, fireworks, kids laughing, family time. I soak up the details and traditions. For years Trev's family has spent the the 4th of July in Midway at grandpa Bob & Alice's home. So so amazing. One of my very favorite places to be:) So sticking with tradition and loving where we were. Midway was just as beautiful as we had hoped and the company was even better.

To be a child again... Care free, giggling at everything, running free!

The Midway house is right next to the golf course... When it's closed let the kids try their golfing skills. Their favorite. Running, and running on the course. Then finding gold balls in grandpa's field.

Such a happy baby... And that chubbiness. Oh that super cute chubbiness. I will be sad when I don't have rolls to squeeze.

Searching for golf balls. They could spend hours. Searching and searching.

Another fun year. Lot's of fun memories to put in our time capsule.

 To my babies. I hope you enjoy your time being young. I hope that we can mark off many of our "bucket list" adventures. Don't forget that "moneys" don't always buy you happiness. It's all in your perspective. And Maddi... that penny you lent me sure did buy us a super cute puppy:)

A day at the lake

Life's been busy. Work. Kids. More work. house. yard. animals. no sleep... Sometimes life just seems so busy. I forget to STOP. Take a deep breath and enjoy the small moments. I want to always remember to find time to enjoy each of those things. I make a conscious effort every day to do this. To count those blessings. Because some people aren't able to have children. Some can't find a job. Some don't have a home.  I am imensly grateful for each of the things that keep me busy. In between the busy comes the best moments. Sometimes the busy are the best moments. The best memories. My little family makes me so happy. Yes I get emotional even typing this:) We have built so many memories. And the love I have for my children can't even be typed into words. My heart feels these deep deep emotions for their little souls... Sometimes I can't even target the right word. Just feel it in my heart. In my soul.

Enjoying family... The beginning of Summer. Means a start to our bucket list of adventure. First on the list. The lake!  We had a few fun weekends dedicated to time spent on the water. My parents, aunt & uncle, my cousins, all of my sisters (minus Andee... I will have to dedicate a post all about how much I miss her:) and best of all (in my kids minds) their cousins.

These memories. These moments are so important to me. I LOVE to see how excited my kids get when they see their cousins. To see the happy smile that comes when we say they are coming down to play. Packing up the car. Making food. trecking up the canyon... Unloading the car to complete Beauty! There is nothing like popping open that camping chair and setting up shop for the day. Senery... Panoramic mountain views, the lake, wild flowers, trees so many trees and best of all... those tiny people of mine. Running through the water, catching bugs, playing swords with their sticks, laughing, chatting with each other in that tiny person chat.

This Summer seems to already be slipping away. Sometimes it feels like time speeds up when the weather is finally nice enough to enjoy:)

 I hope that I let my children know how important it is to just stop for a moment. Enjoy the outdoors, enjoy each other, enjoy the simple moments!

Vivian and Daddy paddle boating.

Cool evening air. Snuggling my chubby baby in a cozy blanket. This is what I love.

Cold water on a hot day. crisp watermelon. Building memories with my babies.

Searching for dead fish in the water.

It was so nice to stop and enjoy the lake. To take in the beauty of the day and to build memories with the people I love most.

Days will always be busy. There will always be laundry to fold. Dishes to me cleaned and papers to organize. For me. It's important to take a break from the crazy. From the stress. To enjoy life. Nature and Family!

Inspired, memories...

These are just a few words to think about

I started to write this post on 2.29.12... And am now getting to the final post today 4.4.12!

 To put it up and accomplish my goal of posting every month is about 2 months behind. No biggie... at least I did it right:) Today I had lunch with some really great women. After talking they made me want to find the time... Thanks to you girls for chatting, for the girl time we all so desperately need. Let's do it more often:) 

Lately I have been thinking about memories. You know those little moments... Like when Vivian says "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah" when Trevor asks her if she wants to take the dog for a walk or when that chubby little finger points onto the palm of her hand to signify "more" in sign language while saying "mo mo". Or Maddix "Squeezing my face and saying Heart Soul baby girl"... Every night before bed I tell him I love you with all my heart and all my soul. It eventually got shortened to "Heart, Soul" or "Silly girl you forgot to turn the button on" Those are our memories. Some don't quite make sense to anyone else. But to us... They are the small moments that make our little family "us".

                               ~ Vivian's one year pictures... her birthday post will be coming soon~

Harry Potter and the half-blood prince movie came to mind when I thought about memories. Weird right!  The "memory Pool" release a few drops of liquid into a pot, stick your head in and instantly go back to a memory.... almost like you were right there feeling, living that memory all over again. I wonder what memories I would want to bottle up. What memories will be forgotten that shouldn't have.

It seems in life we remember those life altering moments. The ones that bring us to our knees. The ones that leave either a really great feeling of love, calmness or laughter. Or the latter... the ones that leave that bitter taste, the twirl in our bellies. Those are the big moments that seem to stick with us forever.

But what about those small moments. The ones like I meantioned above. Those define us in more ways than we think. How can I create my own "memory pool" how can I not only remember the big earth shattering moment but hold onto those super simple, so amazing moments?

~ This is one simple memory to remember. This pictures says a thousand words... Maddix was running circles around Viv making funny sounds, she was laughing hystarically. Him ending up in 90% of the images was just so them~

Pictures, writing them down, talking about them, this blog! I meantioned in my earlier post that I want to be better about our "families journal". This is another step in reaching that goal. To write about "our" memories. To fill a new vile of memories to drop into our memory pool. Someday, when I look back and read this I want to be taken back to that day, to those feelings, to not just vaughly remember. I want to feel them completely.

I have been into this "Inspirational" need. It seems like I lack in so many ways. I , as most of us do want to be better at what I do. For me. I want to be a better Mom, writer, cook, organizer of home and bills, photographer. The list could go on. I have found a few avenues that have totally inspired me and helped me to start on this new path. That old dusty path that hasn't been walked on for some time. The one that you almost can't see the paved trail anymore. Well. I have put on those damn walking shoes and am now ready to hit the trail.

I would love it if more of us shared ways that we get inspired. Ways that we get through those crazy days when we have cleaned the house fifty times and still have a slew of toys strewn on the ground. How do you do it? I asked a group of friends that recently. What if you shared with each other more. We are all good at something. Let's share how we do it.

I read a few inspirational blogs almost on a daily basis. I love to hear words of encouragement. I love to be inspired by new and unique photography styles. I want to learn how to save money better. Each of these sights are different avenues for me to try and better myself in some way. Big or small. At least I make the effort.

....

~She loves to tickle her face with grass... this is always the exact little eye closed open mouth super cute face she always gets~

Life is about our memories. Let's make some great ones and have fun doing it:)

{Welcoming the New Year}

Ahhhh... I am happy to start a New year. A new chapter. A new set of memories with the people that I love most.

Instead of setting an array of goals... a mile high list that will never get accomplished I decided to narrow it down to a few. One of them being this blog. My families personal journal.

I want this year in pictures, in words, and I want to print it out to keep for my babes to read. someday when I am old and grey, I want them to remember our memories and to remember how much I loved their stinking guts.

I had every intention of catching myself up on all of our pictures from last year. Until I scanned my computer and realized how MANY MANY pictures I have not blogged about. So... I ordered a book all about last year instead. Much easier!

Now let's get started with our new year of memories.

Let's rewind just a bit.

On Christmas day My dad was put into the hospital for pneumonia. He was then transferred to Timp hospital and scheduled for emergency surgery. Long story short. He has a crazy strain of ecoli that got into his lungs that then filled with super infected fluid. Antibiotics weren't treating it, he was getting worse. He had a collapsed lung, went back into atrial fibrilation and then had to be shocked back into rhythm. After some time they finally found only 2 antibiotics that would work.

He then was transferred to a critical care facility to stay for 1 month.... He was so so tired of the hospital and talked the docs into letting him go home an have health care there. So now a home health care nurse and physical therapist come every few days. He then goes into the hospital for his infusions every day.. What a process! He is still in such a slow recovery and has hit or miss days. To watch your parent struggle with their health is such a hard thing. To watch him in that chair getting his infusion is so sad... It's like you see in the movies. He is lined up with all of these cancer patients stuck to an iv. Poor papa!

I hope and pray for great health this year. What would I do without this man. What would Maddix and Vivian do without their "papa". We love you!!! And as Maddix tells him "feel better soon"

Little miss "LuLu" turned 9 months on January 16th.

This baby girl has sooo much spunk and personality. She is completely amazing! Sometimes I wonder how it is that I have been so blessed to have my two babies. To be a mom is perfect, it fits me, it's challenging, and so incredibly rewarding. What an amazing gift my two babies have been.

Vivian is already so grown up. She is standing up on everything and occasionally feeling that tiny bit of bravery and letting go for just a split second. She will get there soon. Until then I am loving watching her crawl and do the her little worm. Man can that girl get across a room quick! Everything seems like it comes and goes so quickly. She has so many little words in her vocabulary (mama, dada, ma (maddix), hi, yeah, yaya, papa, da (dog) She is learning her sign language and loves to use the word more... specifically when eating. She loves her food. This girl knows what she wants. When you ask her a question or try to feed her she either says "mm or muh" when she wants it or she does a serious head shake with a "uhuh" when she doesn't want something and thin purses her lips and spits/blows out air.

She loves to wave. She has this one of a kind little wave that only a pageant queen could be jealous of:) She recently learned how to blow kisses. Sometimes it's by sticking her thumb in her mouth and then on occasion it that perfect little chubby had to her mouth and then the release that makes your heart melt.

Our mornings start early. Wow. Too early. It's in those early hours when the sun has yet to rise that we have our little moments. We settle down into a cozy warm bath, play toys, read books and cuddle. As soon as she hears Maddix open his door she lights up. She starts to rock back and forth and giggle. As soon as he is in her sight she claps and reaches for him. Maddix is under her spell. This boy loves every second of his lulu and says "oh come here sweet heat" gives her a big "awwwwa" she lays her head on his chest. Every morning my heart melt for the same reason. It never gets old. To watch their love for each other is perfect.

Laina taught her how to give five. When you ask her she gets this huge grin and puts out her hand. Waiting, waiting... you have to be the one to lay one on her.

Those big blue eyes. I haven't had a time at the store without someone stopping me to comment on those beautiful blues. This girl has some sparklers and knows how to use them. She sits in her bjorn all through the store waving and saying "hiii" she sure knows how to make people light up.

You say you got rythm?? This babe loves to dance. A light tone of music gets her jiving and dancing. She holds both hands in the air and rocks back and forth over and over. Then if she feels the jive again she holds one hand in the air and rocks out. If only they would put a 9 month old in dance class. She would rock their socks off!

She loves to ride with Maddix in his fire truck, play with her dolls, read books, cuddle mom... she is definitely a mamas girl. I secretly love this about her:) She is my girl and those days of holding, kissing and squeezing her will be gone before I know it. So until then. I am going to cherish those times when she is all mine.

She sleeps as wonderfully as Maddix:) Wow this girl knows how to pull all nighters! Those 3-4 hours of sleep that I get at night are a great reason for a good hot drink in the morning:) Hopefully soon she will figure it all out.

{Just Cuz. Cuz}

Maddix and Vivian love to spend time with their cousins. Maddix always says to me "Mom, me want to play with cousins" He so enjoys every moment of it.

Yesterday their cousin Eisley and her mommy Janelle came to have a fun play day. Painting glow in the dark jars, playing toys, eating snacks and the occasional 2 year old spat:) Oh how they love their time together. What would a play date be without a fun photo session.

We headed down to my basement, searched in the Halloween box and laughed at these two as they hammed it up for the camera!

{My Morning cup of JOE }

OK so I do love a good cup of Joe. Moca Frappe is calling my name!

But I LOVE my version better...

Vivian is up at 5:30. Whew!!! It makes me tired just typing that:) Soon after Maddix follows.

So to get my morning pick me up I bundle my babies, load them in the chariot and hit the pavement.

There is just something about the crisp morning air. Seeing my babies bundled and cuddling. The Mountains just getting the slightest hint of color.

And... Quiet... I love this about where we live. No horns honking or crowds of people. Just me and my babies, the Mountain view and searching for that perfect "treasure" for Maddix. Sometimes it's a simple rock or branch but there are those days when we find that perfectly petrified dragon fly with all it's colors still vibrant:) or that butterfly that slowly flutters above us... Maddix laughs and laughs and says "butterfly, fly me head" meaning it fly's above his head. We run to try an catch up with that fluttery butterfly... we end up loosing it's trail but enjoy the chase!

I keep putting pressure on myself to get all my pictures up at once. We have a Summer full of pictures and memories not yet blogged. The story of my life... Too much to do and too little time to do it. Please tell me someone else has this problem:)

For now... I am going to accept my lack of time and know that even this small post is an effort in concoring that big goal. My morning "cup of Joe" is my most important memory.

At least I have these memories... and really... That's what's most important.

Someday soon, my pictures and memories will all be written out. My dishes will be done and my carpet won't have mushed crackers in it.

But for now....

The trails needs more exploring by a super imaginative 2 year old!

For now...



I will finish a long day by playing with my babies on the front lawn. In the shade of the evening, on a cozy blankie, with our Mountain View and sidewalk chalk to draw our endless picture after picture.

I love a good cup of "Joe"

"Me Birday Mommy"

Ohhh... how those little words melt my heart.

About a week before Madd's birthday he started to ask me every morning "Me birday mommy" I kept telling him he had a few more days before the final day came.

Was it the excitement of knowing it was his birthday that made him stumble into my room at 3:00 in the morning and demand to sleep in mommy's bed.

Trev was at work so I had to give in:) 3 Sleepless hours in-between a restless 2 month old that had to have me hold her binkee in and a 2 year old that insisted on being held. "mommy hold you" he kept saying.

5:45 on July 6th I woke up to that tiny voice asking me the same question...

This time I could give him the answer he had waited so long to hear

"Yes it's your birthday"

"I'm Two" is the answer he would give when we would ask.

Sometimes during those sleepless nights I question my husbands career choice... being gone for two nights gets trying and lonely . But sometimes... even in those so worn out moments I count those tiny blessings and enjoy that sleepless, can't even bare the thought of opening my eyes moment:)

2 years we have had the incredible blessing of sharing so many amazing memories. This tiny little boy honestly takes my breath away.

What makes this baby boy so dang special. so unique. so just him???

He has never slept through the night (really!). His smile is so contagous that you just have to smile right back. His dimples just blend in perfectly with that little face. he loooves horses, guys, cars . he has an incredibly sensitive sweet heart. when Vivian cry's he says "I sorry sissy". he sings "happy birday, happy birday" to himself every night even after the big day. He has no fear. He jumps off anything and everything.He is sooo incredibly happy. Alway so happy.

The Cowboy themed birthday party wouldn't be complete without a pre birthday photo shoot. Bribes of suckers were the only thing that got me through.

He has learned to say "no pictures mom" Seriously... already. He will have a lifetime of smiling for this photo obsessed mommy!

Come one come all to

Maddix McGinty's

"Rootin Tootin Cowboy Party"

We recently moved to Payson... So to fit in with the locals we had to have a cowboy party! J/K The real reason...

This boy is obsessed with "guys and horses" so it was fitting to cowboy up and get our country on.

So grab your hat, tight pants and bandana to match... this boy is turning two in a real country way!

Horse saddles on a GIANT tractor tire was more entertaining than we thought!

WANTED... $1,000 reward... these Cowboys and Cowgirls were super excited to get their first mug shot!

Ending the night with sparklers...

What a way to ring in celebrating being 2!

{Be open to collaboration. Other people and other people's ideas are often better than your own. Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you. Spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life. No one is here today because they did it on their own. ...take your risks now. As you get older, you become more fearful and less flexible..."}

The quote above sums up how I have been feeling lately....

Have you ever sat in front of your computer, the curser blinking, blinking... waiting for you to just type, something, anything!

You know you have ideas, thoughts that just need to be expressed. But why the mind block?

I have done this a lot lately. For lack of time, or not quite knowing how to put my feelings into words. I have had so much to be grateful for. A lot of things have happened over the past few months that have just put the importance of "living life" "enjoying the simple things" into a brighter light.

I have found my recent inspiration.

Her name is Kelle and if she lived in Utah I might be tempted to knock on her door... Even though we have never met she feels like a kindred spirit.Because this woman captures EXACTLY how I feel and does it in such a great way. We could be BFF's if she knew who I was:)

My friend shared her love of her blog: (www.kellehampton.com) I completely LOVE the way she puts life into such a wonderful lite. I admire her ability to express herself through words and pictures. Her love for life, family,friends, for enjoying the simple moments and of course her photography. With two children she still finds the time to blog, to write it all down... ohhh how I am trying to work on this one!

Before I read her blog I was in a creative slump. I have so many thoughts and ideas that are aching to break free. I always have an excuse... Too busy with kids, dinner needs to be made, too tired... desperatly need sleep:)

After reading her blog I was inspired again. It helped me realize, I can find time for the things I love. I can be a better writer (My goal... a quiet dream I haven't shared very often) I so long to be more eliquent in my words. To really express my feelings by writing, typing. To just express my creative side.

Most of all I can be better at what I love (mommy and photography) Again I have an excuse. Rushing out the door, toddler in one hand, baby in car seat screaming in the other. I don't grab for my camera. I have often felt to hectic. Felt like another thing on my shoulder will honestly send me tumbling to the floor. So I leave my passion. Leave it sitting in it's case longing to caputure our life's moments. And when I do, I miss those oh so treasured memories that I could have captured as seen through my lens.

Being a mom has changed my life. Completely. Perfectly changed it! I am in love with being a mom. To squeeze that chubby little hand, to kiss that soft cheek and to just hold my babies makes my heart so content. I have found my life's calling...

When you are young you have all these "perfect" ideals of parenthood. "I won't give them candy until they are 5" You know silly thoughts like that. But really when it comes down to it... enjoying, letting loose and just being are better alternatives. Being a perfect parent isn't in my cards. But loving their stinking guts and teaching them all I can will hopefully someday be precious to them.

My friend who shared her info with me is another woman who inspires me. Who is just one of those kindred spirits who you gravitate towards. We had that best friend connection from the very first day... I will miss you Jess! I am so glad she had the guts to call and ask to "hang out" . Sometime I wonder if I could have been so bold and if she hadn't. I wouldn't have her as a friend. She is on to new adventures (1 month vaca in the bahamas, A bright new life in Texas and then onto a serious adventure overseas) Thank you for being my creative inspiration!

So my point to all this blabbing:)

Find that friend, family member, blog, anything that inspires you. Someone or something That make us want to be better at what we do.

Don't let your passion fall to the way side. Don't always have an excuse. Find time for it. Embrace it. Love it.